Part II: Future Leader Vision—Activating Your Leadership Venture, A note from Scott
Today, I am sharing from my own heart and my own experience. I have worked to craft a tool that leaders like yourself can utilize to help facilitate reflection, learning and deliberate actions in both a professional and personal realm and today, we are excited to share that with you! However, before releasing this tool, I wanted to take the time to go through each exercise myself…to reflect on my own life and experiences and to answer open and honestly. In this blog, I’ll be sharing my heart values with you in an effort to encourage you to activate your venture just as I have mine.
One of my key takeaways through this exercise is: In the power of reflection is your ability to discover and name values from your heart. As a result of naming those values, you are given the ability to take action and further your being and purpose.
For me, that purpose is an end goal of less suffering. How do I get there? I believe the power lies within being present in suffering so that myself and others can choose things that are good and whole not only for themselves personally but also for their businesses. Through enduring the fire and listening to the discomfort, I am able to achieve a life filled with less suffering. These exercises have been powerful in helping me feel joy and comfort, as I imagine the future! I hope they do the same for you.
The natural process
Through deliberate reflection, I arrived at my own area of focus for 2021—presence and being present. I’m going to share my own reflections and findings with you, however, I first believe it will be helpful to name the process. Part I of the exercise asks some key questions that lead me through a natural process, for each area of my life, let’s look closer:
1.) Identifying your area of focus.
2.) Naming that area of focus within each of your roles.
4.) Asking the hard questions (ie: What is the feeling associated with this? What is the thought?)
5.) Finding the block and barriers.
6.) Combatting the block and barriers.
My own reflection
As I named presence as my word of the year…I reflected on it in regards to my many roles, for me those roles come in the form of spouse, father, advisor, coach and friend—to name a few. I realized when reflecting on this topic of presence, that thoughts and feelings associated with the individuals I am working to be present with can often get in the way of my ability to be truly present and as a result, I often feel stuck. Through reflecting on each role, I will become more present to the moments in 2021.
I am a present father—
I realized through reflecting on this statement, that I am actually not as present as I want to be with my kids. I notice this block when I get distracted with incomplete projects and household to-do’s. I proceeded to ask myself the hard questions in regards to both my relationship with my son, Jaron and my daughter, June. I determined that I often feel uncomfortable when I am with them and that hiders my ability to be fully present.
With my son, Jaron, I identified the uncomfortable feeling I experience as excitement. I identified the excitement as related to his future and anticipation. I find myself asking, What cool thing might he do? What’s his future look like and who will he become? What could we do right now to get him there? While these thoughts are intended for good, they cause me to be distracted as I live in the future instead of the present. To overcome this barrier, I am choosing to name it in the moment, notice it and be aware of it. Through this awareness, I am able let go of distraction and become more present. Naming this in the moment looks like repeating key words to myself that remind me of these feelings, in this case it would be words like excitement and future.
With my daughter, June, I identified having a feeling of nervousness. I asked myself…what am I nervous about? I found that when I am spending time with her, I concern myself with thoughts of the past and the future. When she expresses things that make me feel uncomfortable, I begin to reflect to the past and ask myself, What have I done in the past, how has it damaged her? Which then leads me to questioning her future, How will she recover? Will she ever feel this fear less intensely? This internal dialogue leaves me feeling nervous, guilty and worrisome and most of all, restricts my ability to be fully present. I will overcome this barrier by naming these feelings and thoughts in the moment, as mentioned above. I will continue to acknowledge her feelings and expand my capacity to be with her discomfort and act as a comforter, with my presence, asking her if she wants a hug, sitting with her when she can’t sleep.
I am a present spouse—
As I took the time to reflect on this statement, I quickly identified the general feeling(s) behind my lack of presence with my wife, Andrea—nervousness and fear. I discovered myself living in the future, worrying about her future plans and how they might impact my level of responsibility. Becoming distracted by this future plan, leaves me feeling pressured to provide financially and induces fear to grow my business. I will remind myself of my venture to full presence through words like fear, nervousness, future, and planning. By acknowledging what my mind is doing, I am given my mind, and heart the opportunity to become more present with her. To notice what she might need in the given moment and to step into that with confidence that I can provide support and care toward her goals.
I am present in my business—
This was especially challenging for me, as I sat with my feelings. It goes unspoken, how difficult, yet, fruitful this exercise has proven to be. Through reflection, I determined that I currently feel discontent. I came to realize that I try to identify with successful business people who I look up to and that I measure their definition of success by financial gains. When I think about my own business, I often become distracted and lose the ability to be fully present because I focus on their success and what they are able to do with their business and compare it to my current reality. This leaves me feeling discontented, dissatisfied, and uneasy—these distract me from full presence as a business owner and make decisions more challenging. It’s worth mentioning that this challenge within business quickly becomes personal as I tell myself that I am not good enough which becomes overwhelming and causes feelings of sadness. The feelings my mind connects to are words like comparison, future, discontent. My goal is to train my brain to name them and let go of my attachment to them.
All of this reflection, has helped me become more grateful and compassionate. I wonder what the results may be in 2021 as I chart out on this path of presence. I can imagine myself making more long term business decisions, becoming less reactive emotionally, when I am hit with hard news. I will have more capacity to recognize the thoughts and feelings that can quickly become blocks and barriers to my true goal of presence in all my roles.
Activating your venture and vision
Part II of the exercise asked me to envision myself in 10 years. I’ll be 51 years old, I envision living in the same home we’re in now, traveling often with Andrea, our children thriving in the place they’re in working and attending school. Spiritually, I am more grounded than ever allowing myself to feel and noting the thoughts that repeat negative feelings. I practice mediation, journaling and exercise every day. I have high level director support for Scott Hackman Ventures and we have multiple trained coaches and a robust interactive learning platform. Most of all, I am grateful. This portion of the exercise left me feeling alive and hopeful. This is what I envision as the fruit of true leadership ventures.
Now, it’s your turn, my friend! You can easily access the tool guide as well as the interactive journal tool, HERE by simply submitting your email so that we can stay in touch as you begin this next venture!
Happy venturing, we are here for you and we believe in you!