Confessions of *Failure and Success

Who am I?

This is a question we all ask our selves when something breaks down.

Maybe it is our car, our job, our marriage, or our family.

Relationships are the hardest things for me to have break down. Communication is work, and it takes time to develop relationships.

Lately I have noticed a shift in the atmosphere, people are more on edge. There seem to be alliances forming. A shiftiness in the eyes, who is in and who is out.

Why is the one thing we want, the one thing we find so hard to maintain.

I have been apart of some honest conversations about marriage and commitment. People weighing in on peoples choices in relationships. The on lookers making their judgment and look for evidence to convict the guilty.

The issue usually do not lie with the other person. I have found relationships to be a reflection on the broken views I hold so dear. The frame work I try so hard to protect. If I can not speak about it, what I see or experience ceases to be real. Constantly, reconstructing meaning out of my experiences and choices I have made.

People who we can not relate to make it impossible to hold onto the old way of thinking that brought us to that point. We choose in that moment to disregard who they are as different and not worth knowing or we engage in the dangerous dance of conversing with the opposite. This is hard for most people who want to hold onto their world view. People like me.

It is in those moments I ask the question, “Who am I.”