Confessions of *Failure and Success

When other people seem to have more fun

Lately I have been morning my inability of having fun.

Then I realized fun is a choice I am not making in my day to day decisions.

I have become obsessed by the work I long to complete that is un completable on a large scale.

There are things that are fun for me, i am now doing.

Cooking being one of them.

My goal is to find ways to eat more food that is a live than processed. I would like create meals based around that theme and see how my body reacts. How weird that this is fun for me.

Watching American Idol has been fun for me lately.
I love it when a singer gets it right, they pick the right song and connect with the harmonies and melodies of the moment. This is embaressing how fun this is for me.

I like walking my dog in the morninig. I try to run but I get to tired quickly. It would be fun to be in good shape again.

I like reading a chapter in a book and pondering the ideas presented. I have fun thinking about the possibility that God is involved in every little detail of living.

i would like to pay more attention to my body, my breathing my eating. I want to think of my self, more than my thoughts or my emotions. How is that possible and why do I long to be more than my thinking, and doing?

There is so much depth to living that I have only tasted in part and I want to swallow it whole.