There is more to this than being a Christian
“Life is hard”, I think someone with more insight said this in the book, “A Road Less Traveled”.
Accepting life as hard is relative to ones perspective.
Sometimes my life seems hard.
Here is what is hard about my life:
I work in a start up business with my family and friends.
Sure there are a lot of other facets to what happens in life from day to day, but to break it down. I am in a web of relationships I care deeply about. I am apart of a community that is providing for the needs I have both, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And I am responsible to those relationships. However when those relationships cross and one goes one way and the other goes another there is a cross road.
I am sitting at a personal cross road right now. I will make a decision this next month and see where that leads me. There have been several times in my life I have tried to take a step toward a “calling”. I do not believe in “calling” as I once did. I do believe in desire, need and ability and I believe God is the creator of them all. However, i believe in our humanity and inability to fully know God’s will, that is why I believe in the need for an incarnational God/Jesus. I believe the story because i want to, due to my personal experience and understanding of history, the gospels, the bible, and context.
This is why I believe a old desire is returning:
I have a desire to serve the Church. I have tried many different avenues since i was young, now I am asking what is it I can do now to serve a need in the Church, both locally and globally.
There was a time I wanted to be in church to be known/famous. I still want to be known by the greater Christian community, but I do not want to be famous in it.
There was a time I wanted to start a church. Now I would like to help people find and develop community. I have learned a lot through being in vocational ministry and the past three years of finding my way again.
I am good at entering a mess and seeing God in the beauty. Right now I stand at a cross road conflicted and scared.
God give me strength.
