Archive of "Uncategorized" Category
To Fire Yourself
Recently, I have had the privilege of transitioning our Sales team into three categories. when we were done the transition I realized a simple reality: There needs to be a new category for OVC to grow…
One Village Coffee has grown organically and it has always had an experimental factor to our development, but with out the team this would not be possible. The relationships and partnerships we develop along the way are the key factors to growth and sustainability. When looking at our relationships and our team it was clear certain people belonged in specific positions and I had to get out of the way. Any one on our team would tell you this is not an easy task for me to accomplish. I might have a bit of OCD or mania that provides my neurotic nature with just enough fuel to keep me “hands” on. However, any expert in the face of growth would tell you, “if someone can do it better than you than have them do the job.”
What was left providing me with a high level of anxiety, because without stuff to do, I needed to find new oppertunities to build relationships in the coffee culture. The part left was the area most enter in first: Coffee Shops. Most people get into this business because of their passion for the brew, I entered this world becasue of my passion to create community and possibilities for new catagories of business. Ways to build equity, while solving social issues like poverty in small villeges around the world.
I believe in the power of groups of individuals and organizations working together to raise value in the exchange of goods and services while providing tools necessary for economic growth of human capital in overlooked and under resourced community’s like what I experience in Nigeria.
Long story short, I have contemplated firing myself for the past several months for the sake of the growth of OVC’s Mission. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who is the President of a local insurance company in my town. He is in his early 30′s and has a lot of wisdom, his answer was simple after I asked him what he thought: “I do not think firing yourself is in the job description”.
Since then I have come to believe I have personal weaknesses in the area of competition, this was found out after a recent Volleyball match in my junior high gymnasium. I looked at pictures of my fellow classmates from over 15 years ago. In that moment, it seemed evident: I am one of those guys who has been given a lot and when my whole person is on the line. I tend to give up.
This is not the time to give up…
Leadership is a Choice
I was told, “you are a natural leader” when I was younger. I now believe we all lead, some of us lead well.
I have lead best out of areas of strength, not weakness. Lately, I have lead out of weakness, this looks like leading out of fear for me.
Leadership has become a four letter word in most circles. This is unfortunate, because it really is needed in society. The fact is most people in leadership like power, and the best leaders use power to effect positive change and bad leaders use power to make their situation better.
Can I get a re-write?
There is enough beauty in the world to be happy,
There is enough pain in the world not to be sad.
Discovering ones self and finding joy in the moment is my true quest.
I have lived most of my life with a “win/loose” philosophy. There is something about this way of thinking I do not like. Lately, I have been entrenched in a kind of war like mentality, which seems ironic for a 29 year old man who was raised pacifist, with strong Mennonite history. Either way, I have decided my world view is not enjoyable.
Who wants to go through life like people are out to kill them? Who wants to wake up in the morning to a shot gun start of win or loose? I do not.
The time has come to re-write my script, the internal monolauge which goes on most of the day.
Thank you Sam and Russ
A weekend in NYC
the upper room
Paul taught me how to let go, Aaron taught me why OVC matters, and Anne questioned our local impact: One of the best nights in a long time...
My Dad is in Nigeria 7.22.08
My Dad is in Nigeria and he sends me messages from his phone everyday reporting on the trip. When he is in Africa the life he leads makes sense.
He talks a lot about the Children who will now go to school because of the work being done in the village. The times of prayer and celebration taking place along with simple times of meals prepared over an open fire or walks to get fresh water are moments of joy.
I enjoy how simple his messages are:
There are some simple things I take for granted and am reminded of them when I watch him live.
1. Playing is easy, it is easier to play than fight.
(I see this in the way he interacts with underprivileged children here and abroad)
For my father service is not a duty, it is a privilege. Service is something held to the highest value when it comes to how we should interact with the poor. The type of service we give must be contextually appropriate to the individual or community. For example, in Nigeria he will interact with Balloons and laughter with the children in the village who spend most of their time working or surviving. Education is what most of the children want, they will work if given the chance.
In the States my father has mentored a boy for most of this child’s life. This boy does not have a father and his mother never had the skills to nurture him. Most recently, my Dad told me of a long conversation where this teen told him he was Bi-sexual. My Dad listened with an nonjudgmental ear as this boy described the feelings of isolation and loneliness.
When I listen to my father, when I watch his life, I am so thankful to know him.
You see I used to be a youth pastor, I was going to change the world. Now I struggle to change the lightbulb, with out my wife, most things I start would never be completed.
Fear
I have been thinking about fear lately. Halloween is a time where people embrace the “scary” and have fun with the idea of horror and death. The community I grew up in disapproved and even went as far as to judge those who participated in Halloween. Currently, I am kind of ambivalent to the holiday, but last night a friend asked a question to those who don’t allow their children to participate in the “trick or treat”. How do they introduce the ideas of death and scary to their world view? This person experienced Halloween as an opportunity to do that with their children.
I do not have children, so I am not sure how I will handle introducing the idea of death and scary things as part of life to them in their formation. However, I think it is time to bring more of the scary things into our conversation.
What is it we are afraid of?
Why are we afraid of those things?
Take the economy or the state of the world. It is a scary thing… People did exactly what they were told to do by the experts and invest in secure money markets and they lost their security. It begs the question of what do we find our security in?
I find a lot of security in my relationships, relationship with my family and community.
I experience fear in the form of anxiety and it arises sometimes as a motivator and other times as an inhibitor. Either way my analysis or thoughts about emotion are part of my search to understand who I am. I have a core belief that looks like this: When I understand why I feel certain things I can control my actions. When I understand, I am not afraid…
I grew up in a family that did not allow me to participate in Halloween. I wonder how I might be different if Halloween was used to introduce the scary things to me…
I tend to be a reactive person, which does not work well in a community environment. A person who is filled with anxiety tends to over re-act or obsess over ideas, causing an increase in the very emotion they want to control.
Granted emotion is only a fraction of who any one person is, however it is the part that seems most real at times. Thoughts, relationships, roles we play in everyday activity are other parts of our whole. Never-the-less there is still the need for me to understand why we feel certain emotions.
Lord Jesus hear my prayer
1.
There is a lot at work in the world, and I am apart of this work.
Here I am use me
There are many relationships strained and people in real need.
Here i am use me
There is only hope in the belief of God, Creator, Savior and Lord.
Here I am use me.
2.
Fear overwhelms the heart of those who want more than they are given.
Take away all my distraction.
Worry takes the place of hope when time runs out in the day.
Take away all my distractions.
Anxiety plagues the body of the person in need of rest.
Take away all my distractions.
3.
Heaven is here,
Give me eyes to see,
God is near,
Give me ears to hear,
Spirit is calling,
Give me strength to stand.
4.
Where will I go from here,
If all of my pursuits end?
What will I do?
I will be free to live again.
To dream and believe in God.
The maker of all things, the beginning and the end.
There is more to this than being a Christian
“Life is hard”, I think someone with more insight said this in the book, “A Road Less Traveled”.
Accepting life as hard is relative to ones perspective.
Sometimes my life seems hard.
Here is what is hard about my life:
I work in a start up business with my family and friends.
Sure there are a lot of other facets to what happens in life from day to day, but to break it down. I am in a web of relationships I care deeply about. I am apart of a community that is providing for the needs I have both, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And I am responsible to those relationships. However when those relationships cross and one goes one way and the other goes another there is a cross road.
I am sitting at a personal cross road right now. I will make a decision this next month and see where that leads me. There have been several times in my life I have tried to take a step toward a “calling”. I do not believe in “calling” as I once did. I do believe in desire, need and ability and I believe God is the creator of them all. However, i believe in our humanity and inability to fully know God’s will, that is why I believe in the need for an incarnational God/Jesus. I believe the story because i want to, due to my personal experience and understanding of history, the gospels, the bible, and context.
This is why I believe a old desire is returning:
I have a desire to serve the Church. I have tried many different avenues since i was young, now I am asking what is it I can do now to serve a need in the Church, both locally and globally.
There was a time I wanted to be in church to be known/famous. I still want to be known by the greater Christian community, but I do not want to be famous in it.
There was a time I wanted to start a church. Now I would like to help people find and develop community. I have learned a lot through being in vocational ministry and the past three years of finding my way again.
I am good at entering a mess and seeing God in the beauty. Right now I stand at a cross road conflicted and scared.
God give me strength.
Married for six years
This Sunday Andrea and I will have been married for six years. I have known her for eleven years and I enjoy reflecting on our experiences.
Most of all I enjoy the fact that she accepts me in my raw imperfection and transparency. There is so much to her that goes unnoticed. I need to start recognizing the positive in her. I think that will be my theme for this next year.
Recognize the positive.
I guess i should start now:
Today we were working out, oh yeah I forgot to mention, we are doing this 90 day work out. When we complete this program it will be the most disciplined thing I have done since Volleyball in High School. This work out is effective. It has been a philosophical shift for me on how I view my body.
I treat myself as though this being was created in a day and can change in a day. Here is the thing, it took nine months and then it took another fifteen to twenty to develop. So much of my philosophy in life has been to accomplish.
Accomplish driven:
Focussed on achieving a goal. This work out is perfect I have a goal. My goal is to complete the 90 days. That is all I think about. I eat right, so that I have energy to complete the work out. I treat my body differently because it has become a tool in the completion of a goal.
Here is the difference. I do not have a goal of how much weight to loose or what i should look like. I just believe that at the end of 90 days I will be different. And I have accepted that I do not know how to change my physical habits but i need someone to help.
Andrea is a huge reason why I will finish my 90 days. It is time to work with her on accomplishing other tasks at hand. I think that is why it is so hard for us as a couple, sometimes. We are both goal oriented and want to accomplish things even at the risk of each others feelings.
When my goals are broad like, “be married”, I often forget the important things like, listen, do the laundry, clean up, turn off the lights, etc.
I would like to be more aware of her needs and more present… Writting helps.
