Archive of "personal" Category
When other people seem to have more fun
Lately I have been morning my inability of having fun.
Then I realized fun is a choice I am not making in my day to day decisions.
I have become obsessed by the work I long to complete that is un completable on a large scale.
There are things that are fun for me, i am now doing.
Cooking being one of them.
My goal is to find ways to eat more food that is a live than processed. I would like create meals based around that theme and see how my body reacts. How weird that this is fun for me.
Watching American Idol has been fun for me lately.
I love it when a singer gets it right, they pick the right song and connect with the harmonies and melodies of the moment. This is embaressing how fun this is for me.
I like walking my dog in the morninig. I try to run but I get to tired quickly. It would be fun to be in good shape again.
I like reading a chapter in a book and pondering the ideas presented. I have fun thinking about the possibility that God is involved in every little detail of living.
i would like to pay more attention to my body, my breathing my eating. I want to think of my self, more than my thoughts or my emotions. How is that possible and why do I long to be more than my thinking, and doing?
There is so much depth to living that I have only tasted in part and I want to swallow it whole.
What is a Preacher
A preacher is one who communicates the gospel to people.
I have often found it hard to view the pastor as the soul preacher, even more now than before. Today we have all sorts of preaching but very little gospel revelation.
I have scene the gospel and I have experienced the Kingdom in the most unlikely of places. The parts of the Gospels that inspire me are the part where the impossible is realized or the wrong is made right. IE, sitting with sinners, healing the sick or talking to woman.
There are parts of the Gospels so human they often go un noticed by most evangelicals, parts that reveal the very nature of man and the very possibility of God.
Tomorrow night I will share the story of One Village Coffee to over 100 employees of a Whole Foods Market in my community. This is an opportunity I am grateful for. From the perspective of the listener, I am just another voice in the market of wholesaling goods through their venue. From my perspective I am a man apart of a emerging organization designed around organic principles of growth. Care for the customer and contribution to greater society, the enabling of the poor to sustain a society longing for growth and change.
I am a simple person full of dreams for more than I can create, the possibility that God is involved in Creation and wants all of us to be involved together. Tomorrow night will be a moment like that, and my only hope is that I will be aware enough to see the Gospel. The place were the Good News of God So loved the World… The space and time where The Creator steps in and Create His image, divulging the secret of the Universe…
There is a God and that God is love, and in Him there is no darkness at all…
Wont you pray with me…
The Hardest Thing to Do is Try
For over a year now, I have been apart of One Village Coffee.
We are a group of people trying to help children through funding development in overlooked regions of the world.
We are a Coffee Roaster, providing sustainably certified coffee to the conscious customer.
We are an educator, storyteller and believer.
There is more to starting something than being good…
With out the common value of change, wrong choices and painful experiences we would not be here still alive and growing.
This past year has tested my beliefs, confidence and understanding. Almost every day I am in over my head. For the past month I have immersed myself in coffee equipment and brewing technique. It is my goal to create a program for people who love coffee and the way it can develop community.
I long for community…
Ever since I left vocational ministry to pursue the dream that is the Kingdom: the belief that God is involved in His creation and longs for the created to take part in,
The restoration of relationships
The acceptance of the un accepted
The empowering of the poor
The development of Freedom
The community of Faith.
I wake up with a small understanding of the mess of the Gospel:
Giving up the right to do what is best for me and only me.
To consider others that I see as less than me, better than me.
I can not be who I am created to be with out the constant reminder of how scary this is:
Life and the pursuit of happiness,
True success, in the upside down world
A capitalistic tool of business, marketing, and sales:
Providing a commodity produced in the under developed countries through the industry of Coffee.
Marketing our product to the customer who believes paying more is supporting more:
I sometimes struggle with the idea of capitalistic gain through the helping of the poor.
I sometimes struggle with the sale of an idea or dream.
Concepts that we are a people who are made to co create and begin to build a better world.
I am not sure what all of this means, but it is helpful to write it out.
Sorry it has been so long…
Who wants to see these movies?
Films are at best art and at the least, entertainment and a form of recreation.
My friend Ed Travis who writes for Hollywoodjesus is the one who helped me realize films are just that, movies. they are not right or wrong they are about something, they have purpose, you can disagree with what a movie is about or the purpose of it, but you can not say it is wrong.
Ok, there are some discrepancies, obviously porn is one of them, but the purpose behind pornographic movies is not to tell a story, it is to turn you on. I do not put porn into the same category as the type of film I am referencing. The reason I think it is important to look at films as art and not as right or wrong is because when we do that we limit the possibility of what can be used to open us up to God and bring us into relationship with the world/people we are relationship with.
With music, art and film I live in conflict with the part of my brain formed in the evangelical world view. It is hard for me to enter a story depicting evil and not feel ill, like I am doing something wrong.
A film made with the purpose of exposing humanity allows me to enter a story and have something revealed about myself, this something I have come to appreciate and value.
My favorite films of all time have very different values, and have changed through out my life, here are a few:
Magnolia, Life as a House and Legends of the Fall,
This is a film recommended to me by my friend David Decker, he is an artist and i enjoy hearing his perspective on most anything.
This may be the most anticipated movie of the year for me: young@heart there just are not a lot of feel good movies out there, I don’t find boring.
What I expect from movies like young@heart is:
To feel good when I leave.
A cathartic experience of hope, laughter and tears.
A memory with a friend.
The movies of 07 that stand out in my mind are, No Country for Old Men and There will be Blood
If you have not scene these two movies do not go expecting to feel good after words. but if you expect the portrayal of raw humanity and enter the story you might find a depth to your nature you where not aware of.
Why do you watch movies?
What are some of your favorite films?
Let the “No” define you and the “Yes” inspire…
I can not stop thinking about how good it felt after a sales meeting when a president of a local grocery store said, “I can not go with your coffee because It would be like shooting myself in the head.” What he was saying in my perspective is: you do not represent what I want.
Stop for just one min and contemplate that:
“Your product is not what I want.”
This is a phrase communicated though out the day in the economy of people. We are communicating all the time about what we want and what we do not want.
“Let the No define you and the Yes inspire you…” rang in my ear as I walked out that meeting late one night.
What people want defines who they are. When we cloud what we want with words from another vocabulary we miscommunicate to people. When we do not say what we mean we miscommunicate and confuse others. Then we become frustrated by the no, the passive aggressive no.
The metaphor of product as people is a bit controversial, and I enjoy entering in the conversation of consumerism a “buzz” word that interests me.
Here is what I hear when I listen to people talking about consumerism as bad.
I hear:
“you must watch what you buy”
“scrutinize every purchase”
“become a conservationist”
“don’t buy certain things”
I hear a generalization of the natural order of society, which is production and consumption.
I am a producer and people I sell to are consumers or customers. In order to make a transaction I need to connect to the basic need of that person, to consume what I produce.
What I am saying is this, most people are extremely picky about what they buy or do not buy, and in doing so, put people in catagories intentionally or unintentionally by what they buy. The conversation I have been apart of is more about categorizing people than it is about responsibility.
Here are some questions:
Is it more sustainable or socially responsible for a low income family to shop at Walmart?
Can the only middle and upper class families shop green?
A reflection on communion as talked about in the gospels/acts.
Jesus used the consumption language in communion and it dumbfounds me to this day.
Are we suppose to consume relationships?
Are we missing the point of relationships by categorizing people by what they consume?
For example:
Do we love overweight people less? (they consume a lot of food, right?)
Do we judge someone who wares a t-shirt that represents something we resent.
Have our judgments become resentments leading to categories for people? Affect they way we treat others.
Here is what I have observed.
People are starting to judge others and make cases against others,
The question being asked is who is in and out of their community.
Who is lost and does not get it?
Are they worth talking to and listening to what they say?
Is what they represent not what you are looking for and therefor like shooting yourself in the head?
Here is what I know:
Jesus brought those outside of the religious community in, and he even consumed or took part in unholly things, like wine and healing on the sabbath. I like how confusing Jesus becomes when we put him in our context and I like how simple the gospel becomes when we look at the gospel story literally.
Side note: I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write
What $1000 did for Bala
This is a letter sent from the director of NIFES, Bala Usman.
I am posting this because I want people to understand how much we have been given, and how much a little will do. This is a dear friend of our family and the reason we set off to start a coffee company, One Village Coffee, in order to support Non-Profit. We are currently working on starting an umbrella non-profit, Open Hand Initiative (OHI) for all the over looked people doing this kind of work around the world.
Right now there is a partnership forming with the MAMA project and the Nigerian leaders through my father. The reason we want to start this non profit which will be funded through One Village Coffee, grants, personal donations and other business’s is due to the rising interest in the involvement our family has internationally.
We are the connectors to communities around the world and it is time to tell the story of these amazing people do so much with so little.
Here the words of Bala:
Dear Hackman,
Warm regards to you and your family.
Beloved, you are the blessing that God has blessed to see that our vision and dream of transforming Africa through the Nigeria.
This is to personally and formally thank you for the timely gift you sent to help with our Coffee farm development which is a basis of enhancing
thousands being enhanced and empowered to make impact and reduce the poverty level of our people. The said amount came to N116, 300:00 because they gave me some lower denominations for $900@N119 (N107, 100) and the $80 @N115 ( N9,200) and the balance of ($20) was charged
as commission for the transfer from the USA. I feel deeply concerned for and loved by your act of mercy and care for the unknown. May his Love overwhelm you.
This is the summary and briefs for the total sum sent:
The sum of N72, 500 earmarked for the bore hole due to its dept and materials and labor. The boreholes work has started and will be finished by tomorrow.
The sum of N24, 000 earmarked for the cow dung manure, which has been supplied, and
The sum of N12, 500 to pay the workers for the month of December -January 2008.
The sum of N3, 500 earmarked for the fuel towards the watering.
The balance of N1000 I used it to buy phone card for phone calls and 2,800 gas for my car and movement for supervision.
These are the things that we are able to do at the school.
I used the balance to purchase 16 bags of cement @ N1, 530 and used it to floor the 5 classes (N24, 480). We also did deposit N 25,500: for the roof Hedges to cover the open areas of the roof and then fixed the window louver glasses costing N14, 160 against the cold weather to protect the children. The chicken birds were sold and we used them to settle our children fees (N135, 000: 00)
I WILL LIKE to APPRECIATE and keep thanking you for your graciousness and kindness to make us have less tension and more relaxed mind. I am humbled by your thoughtfulness.
I AM DEEPLY GRATEFUL FOR THE THOUGHT OF MOBILISING A TEAM TO HELP BUILD TH OTHER PART OF THE SCHOOL. You talked about working to gather the materials for the building. Sir, Can I know what and what I should begin to gather and put together? We are deeply overwhelmed over your desire and discussion to have people mobilized to support and come build or help work on the building in the school
Grace and I are praying and planning to have some time spending part of my Rest in 2008. Love to your wife and the Children.
Todd Rock’s
Todd Hiestand made me this website and I can honestly say it is the best physical gift of my life. He is someone in my life who understands a deep desire to have a voice. The very basic of a human desire to connect with other people. He has given me a tool to feed the inner part of me and leave particles of meaning along the way, like the cracked pot the servant uses to water flowers as he walks a long a path on his way up to the kings palace. (This is a reference to a story I heard a couple years ago)
Writing has become a very important discipline in my life. Most of the writing in my life has been lyrics, poems, journal responses and papers. There is something about putting my thoughts on a blog for several people to read, critique, comment or just peruse like a person watching the inside of mind work it self into the real.
The practice of bloging is a transition in my life from one form of art to another. I have heard it said that a writer writes, a singer sings, and a painter paints. When I am not expressing myself I am not self actualized or alive.
Some one great said, “we all start as artists.”
How it all began
here is the first letter I sent to Todd Hiestand
via email after my two year stint in TX.
Todd,
I have visited your site several times and hesitate to write, for fear of sounding like one of those guys. You know the over excited one who wants to be accepted into the club.
My Spiritual Journey was rocked many times through out my short time on earth. Most recently when my wife and I moved back to Souderton Pa after spending two years in TX as a Jr. High youth pastor. Our time there we were able to meet amazing people, like Chris Seay and Don Miller, I wont name more, because that is name dropping, and I am am afraid I will sound like “that guy.”
Needless to say our paradigm of how to be the church shifted through living life in a modern mega church mindset. We were able to develop community in our short time there and start a service inside the larger church I worked at called “Teleos.” When I looked of your pictures it reminded me of our times together. I am sure God is doing amazing things in your midst.
Currently we are in the process of developing community with a missional focus. This time it is looking a lot different. One it is growing much faster than anticipated. I do not say this as though that is the goal, we simple tell people that we want this to be a safe environment and all are welcome as we gather to live our loving God and loving neighbor. That is our focus.
The funny thing about the group is that we all have diverse theological backgrounds so we can only agree on the over arching theme of the Gospel, which is great.
Here is my point. You are the only church I can find in the greater Philadelphia area that is living missionaly. Well there is Liberti, and circle of hope, but the guys a liberti are way busy and I went to school with a lot of the people that go to circle of hope and there mission is a little different.
So I was wondering if we could start a conversation. If you are to busy that is cool. I am currently taking a class with Joe Thomas at Biblical and plan on starting in the Fall full time in the lead program.
I would love to come down sometime and share in your worship experience. One of the guys in our group has turned us onto invisible children and we are going to have a viewing at branchcreek. Some of us work there, but “Missio Dei Community” is not a Branchcreek thing. Just a bunch of Ragamuffins, trying to love God and the world. I thought maybe we could do it together some how.
much love
Scott Hackman
This was before The Living Room, which is simular to missio dei.
I enjoy this new blog, thanks Todd.
