Archive of "faith" Category
09 is a good time to grow
I like the end of a year and the beginning of another.
I have some resolutions, but they never seem to matter, goals do…
The small steps toward wholeness, the completion of a task and the shaping of another.
Lately, I have been witness to hard times in relationships and I think that there is a depth to the human experience often forgotten.
Life does not get easier. Each day, each passing moment is a reminder of what’s to come…
Even the most fabulous lives in the world are not what they seem, we all create a reality outside of ourselves and look in on others to find who we really are. Even when we look at God or look for God, we can only understand that reality in part.
What is wild to me, is even after all the pain, and the pain to come, I still believe…
Because I want to, because there is something in my mind and in my experience that says God is love and he is best understood from my vantage point of Jesus.
I still like the church, in fact, I have been looking for a church for over a month now. What I am coming to believe is that I am all ready apart of a church and I am looking for validation of my identity in God/Christ/the church.
What I am finding is that I can not go back, I have come to far and scene to much to go back, but I can move forward, one small step at a time, into the great unknown.
meeting with friends
The past two days I have been able to spend time with friends.
Unfortionatly this is rare for me and becoming scarce as the business grows.
The problem is simple: One Village Coffee is about helping a community internationally, but I continually become more compelled to develop community locally. Simply stated: I believe relationships are the foundation for change, the kind of change that is sustainable.
The kind of feeling you get when you listen to Sigur Ros on a ride home, with the full moon guiding your way.
Sunday I drove around my town stoping at six different places with a dear friend, who was brave enough to start this venture with me. We were looking for a place to share a drink and catch up on life. Even though we work together, rarely do we spend time listening to eachothers lives.
Sunday was a meaningful night…
Today I had the oppertunity to meet up with some new friends three different business people in my area. During my time with them, I started to realize how significant relationships are and how little time I spend developing them since I started this business.
I feel like I have to do everything in my power to make this thing work. I have a deep fear that if I take my eyes off the task at hand, the whole thing will crumble.
However, in my quest to solve a specific social issue through business, I have personally suffered. I have become lopsided in my perspective of purpose. The reality is, even if and when what I am apart of completes something significant, that is not the most important thing in life, that is not my identity. My identity is somewhere between what people see and what I see in myself.
Here is where I live, somewhere in the tension of significance to myself and significance to others. This is where I need another perspective. A God’s eye view, which I know is impossible, but I desire non the less. I desire a God, bigger than my reality, bigger than my identity. Something to worship more than a cause, a being to believe beyond myself.
I have begun a journey to the center of all things.
Sometimes I think bad thoughts about other people I don’t know…
Why do we judge each other?
Honestly, what do you think?
This weekend I was in “the wildwoods” and I was around a majority of people outside of my everyday context. People whom like Nascar, Bud Light, Marlboro Red, the NRA, among other things stereo typical of this demographic.
But wait, we all are apart of a demo graphic and to some extent we are all stereotypical.
Differentiating ourselves in a myth, we create an ego that pulls us outside the everyday reality of who we really are. It is in very brief moments of clarity that our nature is revealed.
Like when we are sick, or scared. The truth is we are HUMAN.
For some people, like myself, who have come out of a conservative Christian worldview this is a scary reality. Why, because God judges the wicked, evil man (HUMAN), and condemns them to death for their wickedness? (This is the philosophy I operated out of for most of my adolescense.)
I would be lying if I said, “I am gracious to myself”. I think the root of this judgment and poor thinking of others comes from a misguided “Christian” world-view.
Today I have been practically reminded of how this worldview of sin, death and judgment affects people in a negative way.
A buddy was talking to me tonight about a concerned friend who wants to make sure, my buddy, still believes the right stuff. Still believing the TRUTH.
The truth is we don’t Know.
The truths in the Gospels are simple. “Die so that you might live.”
*Jesus died is a hard argument to loose.
*Jesus rose again, that is a hard argument to win.
Why is it so important to win?
Jesus lost. His followers lost.
The most compelling part of the story of the Gospels from my reading is that Jesus rose again.
When we see Jesus, do we see a blond haired, blue eyed, white guy, or do we see the person smiling at us across from a craft food booth in Wildwood, (the Wildwoods), with a couple of browned teeth who is doing his best to love.
I want to follow Jesus…
Inspired by Jesus…
This weekend I had the joy of being apart of three very unique perspectives on Jesus.
I experienced them through three different peoples unique giftings.
1. Sam at www.dwelldeep.com is a friend who helps me see Jesus in the creative process. This weekend both her and her husband, Rus, visited my wife and I. We sang songs and looked at scetches on her website. She did a drawing a day during a time when her father passsed away. This was an amazing moving experience to wittness her process and expression.
2. Jared Byas who preached at www.branchcreek.org about the “Politics of Jesus”. I had a smile on my face the whole time. He was preaching in a mega church I used to work in on a subject that is not easy. He used language that was evengelical aproachable and I found the text used from Mathew and John inspiring. The words helped me reconnect to time when my faith was more passionate.
3. Bekah Decker from the Livingroom sang a Patty Griffin song “at the top of the world” with me tonight. When you have an oppertunity to experience music that connects to your soul at this depth you know it is a gift from God.
These three experiences led up to a conversation and prayer with my wife, Andrea tonight. This is something that has not taken place in our relationship for a long time. I am so thankful.
Thanks to God the father and Son for the gift of these peoples unique perspectives and amazing abilities.
I love you all very much.
Coffee, Conversation, And Community development
Andrea, my wife of six years this June 1st, is finishing her MBA in ecconomic development from, and I was able to spend an evening with her class, which confirmed my need to be around more thinking Christians. People who are engaged in the world, realizing, “hey I can not change the world, but I can make an impact, and I can find a role in this great big world that fits…”
I enjoyed our conversations at “Fridays” and once again found my self confirmed in what I am apart of at One Village Coffee.
This Past weekend my friend Josh Smith and wife Gina Smith came up from Maryland to celebrate his graduation from .
This past weekend we shared meals and stories of our journey.
Friday evening Jared Byas , Josh and I sat on the upper porch off my “man room” to be… and spoke of our dreams to develope community to see trasformation of culture and lives for the betterment of the the world.
The ideas past around that evening were inspiring and once again confirming the place I am right now with where I live, what I do and what I am preparing to do.
The feelings of being behind the curve or underprepared seem to rear their head when i am around my younger counter parts who have taken on responabilities like; Master Degrees, Children and Pastoral position in a church.
After this weekend several things have been concluded in my mind.
It is time to start planing for a coffee shop for community development in partnership with the vision of One Village Coffee.
It is time to start planning for a child.
It is time to start planning for new education in the world of managment, non-profit community development and organizational leadership.
Who knows…
Maybe all these conversations this past week are connected, or maybe it is just Gods way of saying,
“keep trying, keep believing, keep inspiring others along the way. I am in you as you are in me and I will reveal my true nature to others as you become who you are.”
I am excitted about this new season.
What is a Preacher
A preacher is one who communicates the gospel to people.
I have often found it hard to view the pastor as the soul preacher, even more now than before. Today we have all sorts of preaching but very little gospel revelation.
I have scene the gospel and I have experienced the Kingdom in the most unlikely of places. The parts of the Gospels that inspire me are the part where the impossible is realized or the wrong is made right. IE, sitting with sinners, healing the sick or talking to woman.
There are parts of the Gospels so human they often go un noticed by most evangelicals, parts that reveal the very nature of man and the very possibility of God.
Tomorrow night I will share the story of One Village Coffee to over 100 employees of a Whole Foods Market in my community. This is an opportunity I am grateful for. From the perspective of the listener, I am just another voice in the market of wholesaling goods through their venue. From my perspective I am a man apart of a emerging organization designed around organic principles of growth. Care for the customer and contribution to greater society, the enabling of the poor to sustain a society longing for growth and change.
I am a simple person full of dreams for more than I can create, the possibility that God is involved in Creation and wants all of us to be involved together. Tomorrow night will be a moment like that, and my only hope is that I will be aware enough to see the Gospel. The place were the Good News of God So loved the World… The space and time where The Creator steps in and Create His image, divulging the secret of the Universe…
There is a God and that God is love, and in Him there is no darkness at all…
Wont you pray with me…
The Hardest Thing to Do is Try
For over a year now, I have been apart of One Village Coffee.
We are a group of people trying to help children through funding development in overlooked regions of the world.
We are a Coffee Roaster, providing sustainably certified coffee to the conscious customer.
We are an educator, storyteller and believer.
There is more to starting something than being good…
With out the common value of change, wrong choices and painful experiences we would not be here still alive and growing.
This past year has tested my beliefs, confidence and understanding. Almost every day I am in over my head. For the past month I have immersed myself in coffee equipment and brewing technique. It is my goal to create a program for people who love coffee and the way it can develop community.
I long for community…
Ever since I left vocational ministry to pursue the dream that is the Kingdom: the belief that God is involved in His creation and longs for the created to take part in,
The restoration of relationships
The acceptance of the un accepted
The empowering of the poor
The development of Freedom
The community of Faith.
I wake up with a small understanding of the mess of the Gospel:
Giving up the right to do what is best for me and only me.
To consider others that I see as less than me, better than me.
I can not be who I am created to be with out the constant reminder of how scary this is:
Life and the pursuit of happiness,
True success, in the upside down world
A capitalistic tool of business, marketing, and sales:
Providing a commodity produced in the under developed countries through the industry of Coffee.
Marketing our product to the customer who believes paying more is supporting more:
I sometimes struggle with the idea of capitalistic gain through the helping of the poor.
I sometimes struggle with the sale of an idea or dream.
Concepts that we are a people who are made to co create and begin to build a better world.
I am not sure what all of this means, but it is helpful to write it out.
Sorry it has been so long…
Let the “No” define you and the “Yes” inspire…
I can not stop thinking about how good it felt after a sales meeting when a president of a local grocery store said, “I can not go with your coffee because It would be like shooting myself in the head.” What he was saying in my perspective is: you do not represent what I want.
Stop for just one min and contemplate that:
“Your product is not what I want.”
This is a phrase communicated though out the day in the economy of people. We are communicating all the time about what we want and what we do not want.
“Let the No define you and the Yes inspire you…” rang in my ear as I walked out that meeting late one night.
What people want defines who they are. When we cloud what we want with words from another vocabulary we miscommunicate to people. When we do not say what we mean we miscommunicate and confuse others. Then we become frustrated by the no, the passive aggressive no.
The metaphor of product as people is a bit controversial, and I enjoy entering in the conversation of consumerism a “buzz” word that interests me.
Here is what I hear when I listen to people talking about consumerism as bad.
I hear:
“you must watch what you buy”
“scrutinize every purchase”
“become a conservationist”
“don’t buy certain things”
I hear a generalization of the natural order of society, which is production and consumption.
I am a producer and people I sell to are consumers or customers. In order to make a transaction I need to connect to the basic need of that person, to consume what I produce.
What I am saying is this, most people are extremely picky about what they buy or do not buy, and in doing so, put people in catagories intentionally or unintentionally by what they buy. The conversation I have been apart of is more about categorizing people than it is about responsibility.
Here are some questions:
Is it more sustainable or socially responsible for a low income family to shop at Walmart?
Can the only middle and upper class families shop green?
A reflection on communion as talked about in the gospels/acts.
Jesus used the consumption language in communion and it dumbfounds me to this day.
Are we suppose to consume relationships?
Are we missing the point of relationships by categorizing people by what they consume?
For example:
Do we love overweight people less? (they consume a lot of food, right?)
Do we judge someone who wares a t-shirt that represents something we resent.
Have our judgments become resentments leading to categories for people? Affect they way we treat others.
Here is what I have observed.
People are starting to judge others and make cases against others,
The question being asked is who is in and out of their community.
Who is lost and does not get it?
Are they worth talking to and listening to what they say?
Is what they represent not what you are looking for and therefor like shooting yourself in the head?
Here is what I know:
Jesus brought those outside of the religious community in, and he even consumed or took part in unholly things, like wine and healing on the sabbath. I like how confusing Jesus becomes when we put him in our context and I like how simple the gospel becomes when we look at the gospel story literally.
Side note: I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write
When youtube becomes a preacher
Jim and Casper go to church on youtube is an off the map production.
There was a comment made at the end of this clip about how Casper is sure their are good things going on in some churches.
I am reminded of a life changing movie, “On the Waterfront” Here are some quotes:
Father Barry: Some people think the Crucifixion only took place on Calvary. Well, they better wise up!
Father Barry: You want to know what’s wrong with our waterfront? It’s the love of a lousy buck. It’s making love of a buck – -the cushy job – -more important than the love of man!
Edie: Shouldn’t everybody care about everybody else?
Terry: Boy, what a fruitcake you are!
Sometimes I feel like a “fruitcake”.
There is something stirring in my soul/spirit again.
My mind races with thoughts of friends in leadership at church’s around the country in crisis. Overall most people would say the American church is in Crisis, I tend to agree.
The clip from youtube gives me insight into what I have felt about the modern evangelical church.
There needs to be a response, a simple clear response like Father Barry confronting the Mob on the water front.
Father Barry: Isn’t it simple as one, two, three? One: The working conditions are bad. Two: They’re bad because the mob does the hiring. And three: The only way we can break the mob is to stop letting them get away with murder.
Or by confronting the religious complacency like Eddie:
Edie: What kind of saint hides in a church?
The movement needs all types of people:
Who will you be?
In your love my salvation
This morning the prayer and the song became one. As I listen to Alexi Murdock’s “Orange Sky” I read from “>www.Sacredspace.ie, the site I visit for spiritual formation, I felt the salvation of my soul.
I read these words:
Lord, help me to be fully alive to your holy presence.
Enfold me in your love.
Let my heart become one with yours.
I heard these words:
“In your love, my salvation, in your love, my salvation.”
These are the words I hear when I read the gospels, when thinking of the church these words seem faint.
Salvation seems to have lost it’s relevance in the American society. With out a need for a savior we no longer look, or seek one.
Jesus is has become a pop icon and the church has become the irrelevant contribution to this mess.
Maybe I say this because of what I have been observing over the past couple months in my community.
This past week has been late night conversations about the kingdom, the church and frustration with the expectation of how the people of God should be… I am tired by the critique, I want to see the salvation, the return of the simple words of Jesus.
Those of you who are misplaced, sick and tired come to me and you will find rest.
Go into the world and follow me. I am already there. (A paraphrase of the theme I pull out in Christ’s words through out the Gospels)
There is a subtle story line of a God who has both come to heal, and come to fulfill the call. No longer do we have to see our own calling as a personal role, we can now enter a story beyond our understanding of a God/Man who is apart of the Father and has given himself to the world. As the Spirit remains we are the remembrance, we are the spirit. As we begin to trust in the end result of all things done by God for God we see ourselves a small and significant to the Mission.
May you hear the words of, “In your love my salvation, in your love my salvation.”
With love and peace in my heart…
